Do you want to get well?
(This blog is mainly dealing with walls we have put around us to protect ourselves so we do not get hurt again.)
John 5:1-10 tells us that Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the festivals. Jesus had to pass a sheep gate where a pool was. A lot of disabled people sat there and when the pool stirred, the first one to go into the pool is healed.
Jesus heard that there was a man setting at this pool for 38 years. Just think, 38 years! You think sometime in 38 years he would have been the first to go into the pool. So Jesus asks this man, "Do you want to get well?" What a funny question to ask this disabled man, but is it? Jesus never asked the man: "Do you believe that I can heal you?" or "Do you believe in healing?" or "Get up and walk!" Actually, Jesus does say the latter, but after he first asks him "Do you want to get well?"
Why did Jesus ask this man this question instead of just healing him. Maybe Jesus understood humanity more than we do. Here is a disabled man who has grown used to being disabled. Let's consider what would have to happen if this man chose to be healed. First of all, he would have to move. No more setting by the pool. Next, he would have to change friends. Right now his friends are all disabled, but now he will make new friends who are not disabled. Not saying he won't come back and help some of his friends, but his life will go into a different direction. Lastly, he will not receive handouts anymore, he will have to find work to support himself. He will have to be responsible once again.
Change is scary. When you get used to your circumstances, healing may be far from what you want. There was a period of time I was afraid of people. I remember standing outside my 2nd year classroom door, at Northwest Bible College, asking God to help me like the people on the other side of the door. I did not hate them, I just did not like being around them. I had a fear of people. It was not until I went back home to spend time with my parents that I was challenged to change. A few from our church's youth group went down to a baseball diamond around 12 am. It was dark and we had no baseball equipment. We started to play invisible baseball. It was fun. But my fear of people showed its ugly head and a part of me wanted to run. I remember thinking that my dad's car is just behind me in the parking lot. Something inside me said to run, but I chose to stay. And that was the beginning of choosing not being afraid of people.
I remember that night doing my devotions and while meditating on God's word, God showed me (not by voice but in my heart and understanding) that I was a person that had walls all the way around me and no one could get in. But God was starting to make those walls into bridges and people was coming into my life. I got scared and demanded that he rebuild the walls. God said NO. I asked God a question (that showed my fear of change), "what if I get to love people in my life more than you (God)?" In my heart all God said was "Love Risks!" This was the beginning of healing (change) for me.
Disabilities does not have to be physical only. They can be walls we have placed around us through trauma times in our lives. Such as, divorce - will not allow yourself to trust and love another person as you do not want to get hurt again. Such as, abuse - you choose to stay single due to abusive marriage, or you choose a mate that is abusive because you do not believe you deserve better.
To be well means laying those walls down, this can be scary. To be well means not using the past to hold you back, or keep you from loving again. To be well means forgiving, this does not mean that you are saying what the person did to you was not wrong, it means you are choosing to get on with your life.
Do we want to get well? It is scary not using the past as an excuse to not trust again, believe in good again or to love again. It is scary to forgive the person who hurt us. It is scary to throw away your defense mechanisms that protected you all these years, but they also kept you in prison (not talking about being careful). So I ask you.....
“Do you want to get well?”
I was riding the Transit today to meet a friend for lunch. I boarded the bus and sat at the front it. A few stops into the drive, a man came unto the bus with a child in a stroller. He put up the seats in front of me to have the stroller out of the way, but there was no where for him to set. I guess he could have stood, since he was a man - hmmm. Since I was right behind the stroller, I gave up my seat for the man. He thanked me.
