Good Scenery is in the 'Eye Of The Beholder!'

While I was waiting for the bus, at the St. Lawrence College bus terminal, I was enjoying great scenery.    Yes, colleges are a sea of good-looking men and beautiful women, who I hope will find each other.  As I stood there waiting for my bus, a young man sat down on a bench near me.  Could not help but notice him.  He had beautiful wavy brown hair, side burns that could melt you, and a face that has not seen a razor for a day or two.  He was handsome!

Mine you, a friend of mine may think I'm crazy, because she may like a man with no side burns (silly girl), and clean-shaven.  She may like blonde-haired men, not dark-haired men (I must admit, I prefer dark-haired).

I guess handsome  or beautiful is in the eye of the beholder.  I remember an old classic movie (cannot remember the name) about an ugly girl and handsome man.  The woman had a birth defect on her face.  She hid away from people by helping her mom as a maid in this handsome man's house.   Then the man had a car accident which left him with an ugly scar on his face too. 

The man used to have parties until his accident.  However, his solitude gave him time to get to know the maid’s daughter.  They became friends, then one day they were astonished because neither one of them were ugly.  They really believed they were beautiful again.  The young man threw a party.  The maid's mother and his doctor warned him against it, but he chose not to listened.

The night of the party, his friends came and left in horror.  The girl and man did not understand their friend's reaction to them.  When they looked at each other, they were beautiful.  The maid's mother informed both of them they have fallen in love and love sees only beauty!

Yes, beauty (or good scenery) is in the eye of the beholder, so I do not care if my friend does not like side burns on a man - I do!

A True Fishing Story

Fishing with my family was an event I really enjoyed. Actually, it was a family affair. My mom, dad, and I would set out early in the morning (5 am) to go fishing. My mom did not like fishing; there was no way she would touch a worm or a fish to that matter. However, she enjoyed going with us. She would take her lawn chair and a good Romance book (Nurse Romance) and read while dad and I worked at catching the fish.


Now, catching a fish was an art. It started late the night before. My father and I would soak our back yard with water around 6 p.m. Then at 9 p.m. or when it got dark, we would take our flash lights out to the back yard and catch ourselves some worms. Now this was a delicate job and only experienced worm catchers would understand. You do not put the light on the ground completely, only enough so that you can see a worm lying between the blades of grass. You then slowly approach it and in a split second put your shoe on part of it. Now you do not want to step on it too hard that you squash it. You only want to barely touch it, but enough that it does not get away. Then you take your fingers, swoop down, and get a hold of the worm,  Then you take your shoe off the worm and pull it out of the ground. You see worms only come out part way just in case they have to retreat fast. You have to be faster than them. When you catch the worm, you put it into a can full of sand. My father would put a lid (lid with air holes) on the can and put it in the fridge until we went fishing. I must admit, I loved hunting for those worms, those sticky wobbly worms.


We would drive until we found a great place for fishing.  Usually where there were rocks or docks, so that we can sit somewhere. Dad and I took lawn chairs, but if there were rocks, we would either sit or stand on them.


I remember this one morning my father and I was standing on some rocks fishing. My dad and I would put our own worms, weights, and floats on our fishing poles. Then we would cast our line out into the water awaiting our first prey. My dad's first prey was loosing his line. There went his weight, float, hook, and of course the main menu 'worm da menu'. I am sure the fish enjoyed it!  My turn now, so I cast my line into the water and held the line. I enjoyed feeling the fish nipping at my line. Just the right nip and I would yank the line and far la, a caught fish. Well, no fish for me only a lost line.   I too lost a weight, float, hook, and a fish enjoyed the worm I am sure. My dad now cast a second time into the water and what do you know, he looses his line again. Well I was ready for my second cast, so I swung my rod behind me and then cast it out in front of me. I did not loose my line this time, but my head caught something. When the weight hit the back of my head, I sure felt it. Ouch!!!! Now it was my fathers turn again. Guess what (no he did not loose his line, but something more wet), he fell into the water!.  He slipped on the rocks.


That was it. We decided it was time to quit. Therefore, we packed up all our stuff and went home, that is after dad got out of the water.  Did we go fishing ever again?  Why yes!  Those who love fishing would not allow these events to stop one from fishing.  Did we enjoy ourselves despite how the day went?  Oh yes, there is nothing like getting up in the morning, smelling the water and fish in the air, hearing the sound of a calm lake, and feeling a fish nibbling at your line. Catching some fish would have helped, but yes, we did enjoy ourselves. Yes, I would say, our family loves fishing.  I wish they were still alive so that we could go fishing again! 

How do we measure people's love?

A friend of mine once said to me while we were having coffee together,


"Penny, if my husband is not able to love me the way I need to be loved, does that mean he does not love me?"


Excellent question?  We all come from different backgrounds.  We all learn to express love differently.   For some it is expressing love freely, while for others they are more conservative in expressing love.  My Friend further said to me,

“And if he cannot love me the way I feel I need to be loved, does that mean I do not love him back?”

I believe that my friend was trying to tell me that just because someone cannot love you the way you think being loved is all about, does not mean that he/she does not love you.

Faith and trust is the foundation for any relationship (whether it is father/daughter, father/son, mother/daughter, mother/son, marriage, or friendship) to succeed.

Does this mean that if someone abuses me physically or mentally he/she loves me?  No, as abuse is NOT love!  Abuse or possessiveness are not examples of love and please do not entertain either as love.

There are many quotes out there that explains what love is, but I have never found one that says it better than I Corinthians 13, known as the ‘Love Chapter’.

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (Verses 4-7, NIV).

In summary, let us not define a person’s love for us by our need in how we want others to love us.  But, on the other hand, let us learn how our family, friend, partner needs to be loved, so we can grow in expressing love.

True Friendship


One bright morning, while the dew was resting on the ground,
two buds broke through the ground of the master's garden.
The master gardener was pleased!

A few weeks have gone by now and these two buds have
grown into tall, beautiful flowers.
These two flowers responded strongly 
to the master's love and care for them.

These flowers shared sunshine 
and withstood storms together.
These flowers laughed together and loved each other.
The master gardener was pleased!

One day the master gardener decided to replant one of these
flowers into another garden. 
The flower that stayed behind did not
understand the master's choice!


The flower questioned the master's decision:
"Master Gardener, why did you take 
my friend from me so soon?
The flower tried to hide its hurt, 
yet the master gardener knew!


One evening, the master gardener spoke tenderly
and lovingly to the little sad flower.
"Little flower, I know you are sad 
with the moving of your friend,
but let me share a secret with you.


Friendship is like a coin - there are two sides to it.
One side is loving, caring, and enjoying the friendship.
The other side is learning to let go! 
You see, my little one, 
I need your friend to bloom beautifully
in my other garden.  Just as I need you to bloom here!


The little flower looked up into the master's eyes and smiled.

 It understood! Stepping aside meant allowing its friend 
to become all it could become in the other garden. 
The flower rested!


Oh, the little flower cried sometimes for its friend.
However, it realized that true friendship is two-sided.
You need both sides if you want to be a true friend!

A Time To Laugh and A Time To Cry

Johnny sat on the front steps with tears coming down his eyes. In his hand, he held his lifeless pet frog. Behind him in the house, a party was going on. The children inside were having so much fun that they did not want to share the boy's sadness.

Johnny's brother Sam came from the house and sat down beside him. He noticed the frog and said, "Johnny, don't be sad! You can get another frog at the pond later.  And I promise I will help you find another frog tomorrow morning.  But please come back into the house!"   Johnny shook his head no. The boy impatiently got up and re-joined the party.

Ten minutes later, his sister Sally came out and sat with him.  "Johnny,” Sally said, "You can't stay this way. You need to forget about your frog and come into the house and join the party. You are missing all the fun.  Anyway, it's just a stupid frog."  Johnny again shook his head no. Sally became irritated; she jumped up and re-joined the party.    


Five minutes later, Johnny's older brother came out and sat with him.  "Johnny, why are you so sad over a frog? You know you will find another frog and you will forget this one. Sam said he would help you find another one. Forget this one and come join the party.”  Johnny said nothing.  “You know Johnny, people do not like hanging around sad people. They would rather be with those that know how to be happy. Please come in?" 

Johnny again shook his sad head no. His brother uncomfortable with Johnny's feelings got up and re-joined the party. Soon Johnny's brother was laughing again.

Six minutes later, a man sat down beside Johnny. He did not say a thing. He put his arm around Johnny and suffered with the boy. Johnny broke down in tears. The man still did not say a thing.  “His name is Pete," said Johnny.

"That's a good name, Johnny," said the man. 

Johnny continued, “I came home from school today and found Pete this way.  It is my birthday and the party inside is for me. My family wants me to join them, but I do not feel like laughing right now. They're disappointed in me, especially my big brother!" 

"It's okay Johnny, there's a time to cry and a time to laugh," the man said. "I believe right now, for you, it is a time to cry."  Johnny looked up at the man.  He saw understanding. His eyes told Johnny that it was okay to be sad, and he did not have to hurry up.

"I would like to bury my frog," said Johnny.  "Good idea!" said the man. "I'll be right back, don't go away."

With that last sentence, the man got up and re-entered the house. He started to look around as though he was on a mission. 


A few minutes later, he came out with a small box and asked Johnny, "What about this box? Do you think that Pete would like to be buried in it?"  Johnny for the first time smiled. He shook his head yes. Johnny put the frog in the box and the man put the led on it. They both got up and went to the backyard. Johnny found the shovel and dug a hole. The man gave Johnny the box and Johnny put it into the hole and covered the grave.

"I would like to say something?" Johnny exclaimed. The man nodded okay.

"Thank you Pete for being my best friend. I know you were just a frog, but you were my frog. I will never forget you."

The man looked at Johnny and knew that probably tomorrow, or even an hour from now, Johnny will forget Pete. He may even find another frog that will become his best friend. He did not correct Johnny to that knowledge. He knew, Johnny would find out for himself. However, right now at this moment, Johnny was sad. In addition, right now Johnny needed someone to share his sadness. Therefore, the man just put his arm around Johnny and smiled. Johnny smiled back. They walked into the house and joined the party. Half an hour later, Johnny was laughing and playing games with his friends. Because someone shared his grief, no matter how small it appeared, he was now able to laugh.

My Sister

My sister Carol McKay died in February 2011.  We used to talk at least twice a week by phone.  I would also go to visit her some weekends.  I miss our talks and visits.  If I ever just needed to laugh, I knew calling Carol would be the answer.

What I love the most about talking to sisters, is you never have to explain yourself.  There is a repore that is already set.  I miss being able to call her up whenever I felt.  If she was not home, I knew she would call me back when she got home.  I miss her dearly!